Saturday, December 5, 2009

Weird Statistics.

This morning I saw the front page of NYT displaying the following: Unemployment down to 10% and only 10,000 additional jobs lost during this past month. I read the headline and exclaimed - what the ....? l thought to myself, how is it possible to decrease the unemployment rate while still decreasing the number of available jobs. Then, I realized that you can achieve this statistical miracle by decreasing the population. The USA must now have fewer employable people today than in October.

As Borat would say: GREAT SUCCESS!

The Obama administration will simply have to keep decreasing the number of Americans faster than they are decreasing the number of available jobs. Right now we have roughly 300 million Americans and about 10% of those wanting to work are unemployed. If we knock off 30 million during the month of December, our unemployment rate will decrease to 9%! It may actually go even lower, because there will be a great demand for undertakers, and funeral homes will be hiring.

This is really a brilliant strategy, but commissar Obama is still a lightweight when it comes to comparing his achievements to other historical figures: 0.2% -Ha! That means a loss of only 600,000 Americans. Uncle Joe Stalin knocked off at least 60 million of his fellow comrades. I guess we shouldn't dismiss Obama's achievements though, because he is only in the 1st year of his 1st term in office. He may make history yet.

On a more serious note, I do know of 2 people who recently committed suicide at a local company, after finding out that they were being laid off. This fact explains the weird statistics being praised in the newspapers, and it also means things are not really getting better. Definitely not for those two individuals and their grieving families.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Bruno Imitates Obama.

Here is a picture of Obama walking towards his car. He is clutching a copy of GQ that has a photo of Obama on the cover. Fine, he is really into himself. Not impressed yet? Then, keep reading.

So, I had a day off and saw the movie Bruno. Guess what? Bruno is all about himself too. Furthermore, he is also on the cover of GQ.

You say coincidence. Bruno was also involved in mid-east peace negotiations, he is loved by celebrities, and he is proficient in Austrian.

At the end of the movie, Bruno made his own music video. There is a line in that video that perfectly captures just who he is: "Bruno, he is the white Obama."

Forget the critics, rent this movie and laugh yourself silly.